The Subtlety of letting that ish go
By Ashley Heurtelou aka @soulcalledcash
I woke up, used the bathroom, quickly scanned myself in the mirror and said good morning. Then laid myself on the floor to meditate. I tuned in, I’m feeling good and now I can start the rest of my day. I get ready and leave to head out into the world. At some point during the day, I notice I am not the same as when I left my house this morning. What just happen? When did it happen? Why do I want to cry? Why am I angry?
So you probe your mind, retracing the steps of the day, your interactions with others, the thoughts you can remember you had and you go on and on. The feelings persist and now the shift in energy can be felt in the body. You feel heaviness in your chest and pelvis and even notice you’re not breathing steadily. You’re even more upset. What is wrong!? You ask yourself and you get nothing.
It happens. You get so caught up in the moment of the trigger that a vicious cycle of trying to figure out what’s wrong, getting annoyed because you don’t know, and then back to what could be the cause, takes place. How do you get out the loop when you think that by giving the feeling your attention that it “should” go away. But it does not.
Compassion. Being gentle with yourself is the first step. You have lived a long life unaware and now you are full of awareness. But just because you are coming to know yourself better does not mean you will get it right in every moment. Compassion is noticing something is wrong and being able to say I been through a lot and although I would like to not feel this way it’s happening.
Then you sit with it. Not scouring the mind for answers or being hard on yourself but letting the emotions flow through you. That’s the subtle difference. Instead of trying to use your intellect to understand something and place judgement, you are allowing your emotions to do what it is, be energy in motion, judgement free. It’s not here to cause you harm but to teach you something! You may cry, sob, get angry, etc. Whatever it is let it take its course through the body. This is the subtle way of truly letting something go. Surrendering.
When you press a feeling you do not wish to feel, you are pulling it closer to you and when you bypass the unwanted feeling without truly addressing it, it still stays housed in your emotional body only to come up later. To let something that is disturbing your peace go, what has worked best for me is allowing the feeling to take its course through my body. To say this feeling hurts, I do not like it but I understand it’s showing that something exists within me that has been waiting to be let go. Be honest with yourself. Then Breathe in deeply as much and as many times as you can and let the floodgates of that emotions rip. At times you will feel crazy lol. You’ll go from crying to smiling or laughing the next minute. Whatever it is, no judgement. This is about you shaking the funk off so you can be the true you more often than not.
So next time you find yourself not feeling like yourself, sit with it and let the emotions flow through your body and show you what you need to know. Maybe an answer will come after you’ve allowed the emotions to move through you and maybe not but the answers always come. Just know this.